Sanctuary
by Broken Blackk Dahlia
Summary: Stricken with guilt, Zuko pays Azula a visit in the asylum that ends with her returning home. Stricken by paranoia, illusions of their parents and even him, Zuko must learn to help both himself and Azula cope with the psychological dilemmas. Zucest. Zuko/Azula. From a roleplay thread with fallenfirebender on tumblr.
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**So... this is directly from a thread between myself, sifu-zuzu, and fallenfirebender on tumblr... Don't judge. I'm a pretty big Avatard, therefore explaining myself. That aside, I hope you guys enjoy this. :3**

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**1.**

The visitors' room at the asylum was furnished like a comfortable sitting room, if a bit faded. It might have been a common room at a seaside resort, one that thankfully didn't buy into seashell themed everything for the décor, but rather kept it tastefully subtle. If one ignored the bars on the windows, that was. The orderlies had cleared out the visitors' room for Zuko's arrival. Being the Fire Lord had its perks, after all. He would get to have his visit with Azula in private, save for the orderlies that needed to stay in the room in case she needed to be restrained.

The Azula that stepped into the room wasn't the cold-hearted manipulator that had made him play into her hands in Ba Sing Se. Nor was she the vicious and cruel girl that had laughed and called an attempt on his life 'celebrating becoming an only child'. She wasn't even the vicious, if unstable, soon-to-be-crowned Fire Lord whose coronation he had interrupted. When the door opened, what was revealed was instead a lost child, haunted by nightmares of the past and the cracks in her fraying sanity. Though one of the nurses had neatened up her bangs for her, the weight she'd lost and the shadows under her sunken and haunted eyes made for a truly pathetic picture.

She strode into the room with her back straight and her head held high, but there was just so much wrong with her that it seemed more like a farce, like death itself was impersonating Azula or perhaps wearing her skin. She flopped into a seat across from him, always casual with him and irreverent of his status. She was his sister, and she would never recognise him as royalty ahead of their status as siblings.

"So you're finally bothering to visit me, Zu Zu," she hissed, trying to sound like her old self, and failing miserably. There was betrayal in her tone, there was anger, there was disdain, that much was understandable. But there was a barely hidden undercurrent to her words, one that leapt out from its hiding place due simply to its strangeness, to the way it didn't belong in Azula's voice and yet sounded so naturally at home there. Hope. Fear. Love. Why are you here, Zuko, and are you going to help? I need you. My brother. I'm so afraid…

Zuko sighed at his sister's curt greeting, gold eyes setting on her deranged form. She looked so fragile after her growing months in the asylum, and he pitied her. She had lost the intimidating vibe that emitted from her being, and it was obvious that she was forcing the snippy attitude. It was quite pitiful, in short, and sad that she had lost herself.

"Azula." he said briefly, disregarding her cold words. He was not here to argue, but to check on her; he was genuinely concerned for his sister. It made him guilty to just leave her there, so he had to do something, even if his friends had something to say against it.

"Zuko," she answered, mocking him with mimicry, copying even his tone and head movements before leaning back again and rolling her eyes. "Who put you up to visiting me? Uncle? No, Uncle always hated me… I know. It was that water peasant, wasn't it? She's always been so desperately self-important about how 'helpful' she is. Am I her latest charity project? No thank you. You've done your time, you came. Now leave."

He rolled his eyes. She jumped to conclusions so quickly that it irked him. Must be the paranoia, he figured. "No one put me up to it, I chose to come see you." Zuko said, eyes flickering around the nicely-furnished visiting room, before settling on his sister's form once more. "I'm not going to leave, Azula." He went on, trying to keep from losing his cool so soon; dealing with her for less than five minutes, and he was already angry. This was pure madness to him.

Taking a deep breath, he searched for his concern once more. It was always at the back of his mind, eating away at it. His sister, though she treated him so horribly in the past, concerned him. He felt bad for her, trapped in a cell, rapidly losing weight along with her slipping sanity.

"Why's that?" she asked sharply, regarding him with a very cold expression, though once again, buried under her tone was that same odd hopeful tone from before. "You never cared before. You always hated me, wanted me gone…why has that changed? Because I'm no longer a threat?"

"I…I admit, I wanted you gone before, and I'm sorry for that…" Zuko sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But you seemed to want ME gone for so long." Inhaling deeply, he realized that he was terrible at apologizing. If it wasn't his sister he was facing, with such a serious subject, it would have been kind of comical. "Anyway… things have changed for a good reason; I'm really concerned about your well-being in here, Azula. You've lost weight, and you're paranoid…. You're losing yourself." He looked to his hands, resting in his lap.

She looked at him sceptically, not sure what to say until she finally spoke up, just barely above a whisper. "I only hated you because you hated me, dum dum. You can only push someone away so many times before they get bitter," she murmured. "You were my hero when we were little, but it was always 'dumb' 'stupid' 'weak' 'baby' 'crazy'…of course I started to resent you. But if you're only here now rethinking it because you pity me, I'm not interested. I'm not a charity case."

He let out a frustrated breath and rested his head in his hands, elbows on his thighs. Eyes shutting, he tried to find something to say. He thought speaking to his sister would be much easier than what it was. "I… I'm sorry, " he rasped, not knowing what else to say. He had never realized how mean he was to her when they were kids, it never occurred to him that maybe his words and actions were what turned her so bitter. "You're not a charity case, you're my sister."

"Because that word's meant so much to you in the past," she countered dryly. She sighed, and reached across to him, trying to take a hold of one of his hands. She'd scarcely touched him when she cried out in pain, jerked back sharply by the orderlies. She let out a whine, struggling against them for a few moments before her arms were forced behind her and shackled in place, pinning her into her seat and stopping her from moving forward to touch Zuko again. A few tears dripped down her cheeks, but she didn't deign to acknowledge them. "Go ahead. Laugh. It's hilarious how they treat me, isn't it?"

Zuko sat up when he heard Azula cry out, eyes blazing at the orderlies. "It's nowhere close to funny." he growled. The way she was treated made him want her out of the asylum. It was as if she wasn't a human, just an animal to push around if it didn't stay in check. He gave her a once-over and really noticed the kicked puppy look in her eyes, getting an immediate pang of regret for putting her in there.

"I just wanted to make sure you were real," she admitted. "The number of times I've hallucinated you since I was put in here…" She hung her head, sighing heavily. "I want to go home, Zuko…this place is awful. I'd rather be on the execution block," she whined, trying to convince herself that she wasn't whining and that her dignity wasn't crying out in anguish.

His brow creased as what she had just said soaked in. She didn't want to be there, he didn't want her there…. The guilt he felt always gnawed at him, keeping him awake at night. If she was back home, he would have closure and wouldn't have to worry about her being in that horrid place, wasting away in a cell. "I don't want you to be here anymore." he said, rising from his place. Looking to the asylum nurses in the room, he went on, his tone stern. "I'm taking her back to the palace."

One of the nurses stepped forward with a bright and cheery smile, almost hollow in its expression. "My lord, removing a patient with mental disturbances like Azula's is not as simple as that. She has a great many…requirements…and breaks in her daily routine can cause devastating amounts of damage to her psyche."

Azula snarled. "They just want to keep me here long enough to brainwash me into not talking about the things they do to people around here…"

"And, as you can see," the nurse continued brightly. "She is too delusional to understand that she is being treated for illness, and instead ascribes everything to malicious maltreatment. Her delusions and paranoia are far too strong for her to be released in good conscience."

"She's becoming paranoid because of this place!" he snarled, standing. These nurses seemed so set on keeping all patients in. He felt stupid for submitting Azula to this place, and was hell-bent on getting her out now. "I demand her release." He felt that she would be better off with him, than in that wretched asylum. The orderlies seemed so hollow, so fake; he couldn't bring himself to trust them.

The orderlies took the shackles off of Azula, though the nurse gave them a dirty look for having done so. Azula immediately came to her feet and stood beside Zuko, though her bearing was that of one seeking protection. "If being shackled simply for reaching out to my brother is 'treatment', being restrained and chained to a wall daily is 'treatment', being subjected to systematic abuse and torture is 'treatment' then I'd rather let my symptoms grow acute and die of them," she snarled, taking Zuko's hand. "You're the Fire Lord, Zuko, just walk out of this place with me. They can't stop you."

The nurse narrowed her eyes at Azula. "My lord, please, don't let her give you a false impression of this place…this is the finest mental health institution in the country…"

Zuko's eyes narrowed at the nurse. "I think my sister is a bit more believable than you are, " he said, lightly squeezing Azula's hand. He was kind of shocked that she took his hand in hers so quickly, but he disregarded it; things had changed. He gave the orderlies one last look, before turning and gently pulling Azula along with him, through the door and into the corridor of the asylum.

Right at that moment, Azula would have taken Katara's hand or Aang's hand. Literally anything was better than staying in the asylum, even if her prickly demeanour did have her sniping at nearly everyone. She followed after Zuko and didn't look back, following along after him until they were all the way out of the asylum. Then she let go of his hand again, her body giving a tremendous shudder. "Don't…tell anyone…I've been so weak," she murmured awkwardly.

Zuko shook his head. "I won't say anything…." he said, wishing he knew how to make Azula happier. She was out, going back to the palace with him, but he wasn't sure how he would keep her amused and keep the paranoia away.

She nodded her head awkwardly, following along after him quietly and sullenly. Quite randomly, she spoke up, but it sounded like she was talking to someone, and someone other than Zuko. "No, be quiet. That's a stupid idea," she chided in annoyance.

His eyes widened when she spoke into the silence that had fallen over them. She wasn't talking to him, he hadn't said anything other than his reassuring her. His mouth opened, but nothing came out; he didn't know what to say. Biting his lip, words then found him. "Azula… What..what was that?" he asked in a hushed tone, brow creasing. That would be something he'd need to get used to… Or help her with. Just great, he thought. Zuko would just have to watch over his sister until things got better for her.

She sighed heavily, hanging her head. "That," she answered testily, "is a part of father's legacy, that I will never escape. Isn't it ironic…you've wiped away his influence in everything else in the world, but you and I…you and I still walk along the paths he set us on, dancing like puppets still tethered to his strings. Me more so than you," she said darkly, shaking her head. "I'll never escape it, and not even the sun itself could burn it away."

He frowned. It was unfortunately true, all that she was saying. Their father had them on a path, like doors on their tracks. Though, Zuko felt that they could escape what he set them up for. It would take a great sum of work, but it was a possibility. With a sigh, he rested a hand on his sister's shoulder. "I know… but, " he began, trying to lift her spirits. "…maybe, since you're coming home to a better place, his influence will be lessened on you… on both of us."

She sighed, nodding her head tiredly, reaching up to put a hand over his. "I can only hope that a change of scenery will help me quiet them down," she murmured quietly. "Don't…tell anyone. I have precious little dignity left, after everything that's been done to me… Can you let me keep what little I have left?" she asked, hanging her head.

"Of course, " he said in a hushed tone, taking Azula's hand in his own as they continued on. "I think things will get better for you very soon, so no one needs to know about… how you've been.

She fidgeted awkwardly, but squeezed his hand in return. "I don't understand, Zuko," she murmured softly. "For so long you just…hated me…nothing I could do would make you so much as smile at me… Now this… Why do you come to me now, when I've lost everything else? Do I have to choose between my strength and my brother?"

"It's not that at all, " he said with a frown. "I guess I just felt guilty…." He couldn't really explain his change of heart, other than having the guilt gnawing at the back of his mind. It had been keeping him awake lately, making him feel like he should do something; and now he was. One hand came up to brush digits over the dark bag under his good eye. Sleep deprivation had made him moody, which motivated him more to take action.

She sighed, hanging her head. "Great. Just great. And when your guilt wears off? You'll just…kick me out again? Or I know. Once you realise I'm still a sharp-tongued wretch, you'll throw me in prison for mouthing off? Is that the game we're going to play?" She didn't trust him in the slightest, though she knew he was also her only hope of…well…anything.

"No… no, " he pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing hot air. He didn't mean it that way; he just phrased it wrong. It had bugged him from the start but it had gotten so bad that he had to do something. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't. "I didn't mean it like that." Zuko wanted to hit himself for how stupid he was, phrasing things to sound as if his rescue was just part of a game that would go back and forth, history just repeating itself. "Everything will be how it is now, I won't throw you out, even if we don't come to terms sometimes…. I don't want our lives to be a fight." He brought both hands up to his face and dragged them down, groaning in frustration.

"Don't claw your face," she said, reaching out to smack his hands. "It's bad enough I do it, and I have an excuse," she chided. On a closer inspection of her face, there were scrapes there in fact, and her once long and elegant nails had been forcibly trimmed down to blunt stubs. "But it's a little hard to trust that we won't be fighting when you've made a life and personality based entirely on resenting me."

He bit the inside of his cheek and looked at Azula. She was right; he was completely based around his disliking her, it felt natural since he had when they were young. It was terrible, he realized with a frown. The guilt inside of him seemed to grow by the minute. "Well… maybe we could manage." he said, moving a hand to his top knot and pulling it loose. He thought of his Uncle for a moment, and blurted the first words that came to mind for this kind of situation. "If we really want to get along, it'll happen, I guess…"

"The same way boils are always lanced," she said with a shrug, opting to extend the metaphor. "By breaking through the outer layer and forcing out the rotten insides," she said, tightening her hand into a fist almost like she considered herself to be proposing a decisive military action. Then her bearing faltered, and she sighed. "We need to talk, you and I. Lay it all out, scream at each other if we need to, and get it done, get it all said, get it over with."

He nodded, thinking of the possible things to be said. "Alright, when we get to the palace and you're settled, " he began, looking ahead of him. "We'll sit down and do just as you said."

"It's…difficult to believe that I'm actually going home," she murmured softly, hanging her head. "It feels…fantastical, at this point. Are you sure this is real?" she asked, then laughed at herself. "Of course, great idea, Azu, ask what might be a hallucination if things are real," she said frustratedly, reaching up and digging what was left of her nails into her cheeks and drawing them down in an attempt to draw blood.

Zuko stopped where he was and pulled Azula's hands from her face, trying not to cause any pain. "Just… stop, Azula." he said, locking eyes with her, still holding onto her hands. "It's all real, and there's nothing wrong with you questioning that. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your position right now, but, " he paused, letting out a breath. "…things will get better."

Her hands pulled away easily under his influence, though she sighed in frustration and scowled at him. "Things will get better? That's the best you've got? Why will they get better? Because we want them to? Because that's what's fair, what's right? We've been through the depths of the volcano, now we should come out in the promised land on the other side? Life doesn't work that way, Zuko! For someone who's had to fight and claw his way up from nothing, you sure forget easily that you have to fight until you win, not just fight until you think it's fair that you should!"

A growl came from the back of Zuko's throat as he listened to Azula. Things were never simple, he knew that, but he didn't want them to be so difficult anymore. "I know!" he hissed, hands clenching into fists. "I just want to make things easier for you, I feel like I owe you at least that much for throwing you into the asylum! I'm well aware that I made my way from the bottom, once! I don't want you to have to go through what I did." His voice dropped as he spoke. "I'm not cushioning things, either… I'm being….kind."

She sighed, shaking her head in frustration. "Talking about what should be and ought to be isn't going to make things any easier. Just…accept that things are bad. And…maybe one day, things will be better. If we work hard, if we don't give up," she murmured, hanging her head tiredly.

Zuko sighed, running a calloused hand through his hair. Gold eyes cast down as he continued walking, contemplating on how he would respond to all of what Azula had said. "I guess so." he murmured.

"It would be nice…if just pointing out when things weren't fair was enough to make them become fair," she said tiredly, hanging her head as well. It seemed time was taking its toll on the siblings, and not giving the usual bonuses that time often gave.

With a sigh, he nodded in agreement. "If only life was that simple." he murmured, making a face. If life was that way, neither of them would be in the situation they were in. Stuck on a path made by their twisted father… He yawned, then made an effort to change the topic of their seemingly senseless murmuring. "When we get back home, what do you want to do?" he asked, looking from the dirty ground, to Azula.

She stopped awkwardly, thinking about the question for a moment before laughing at herself for being so easily spooked and continued forward. "I want to take a bath. No. I want to go to the royal spa, and have the servants get the mats out of my hair. Then I want to take a long bath, and incinerate everyone who speaks to me patronisingly while I'm there." She chuckled softly, shaking her head. "That's one of the worst parts about what they do, you know. At the asylum…they talk to everyone like we're children, incapable of grasping even the simplest of statements…"

Zuko laughed lightly and couldn't help the small smile that twitched at the corners of his mouth. "Sounds like a plan." Said smile faded into a frown at her mention of how they treated the asylum inpatients. He took a breath and hesitated, before draping an arm over Azula's shoulder. "I'm really sorry for ever throwing you in there… It all sounds so ridiculous, how they treated you." he said, tone dropping.

She blinked in surprise when he put an arm around her, but shifted to slide her arm around his waist in return. She smiled softly, yes, this was actually…surprisingly pleasant. "I-I started thinking you did it on purpose…that you knew how terrible it was and you either didn't care or you wanted me to suffer that…" She sighed heavily. "I-it's over. I'm coming home…it's over now, it doesn't matter."

"It's in the past now… but, had I known how bad it was in there, I wouldn't have submitted you." he said with a sigh, squeezing Azula's shoulder lightly.

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**And I cut it there... owo There's more to the threads, but I feel like I need to divide it evenly so it isn't, like, a ten-thousand word chapter. Okay... I'll try to have more up soon~**


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**This one's a tad shorter, but it's a reasonable section from it. The time skips after the end of this tidbit, and it just... cut itself off on its own at that point. So yeah. Enjoy~**

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**2.**

Azula let him lead her along, staying quiet the rest of the trip. She did indeed head straight to the royal spa as soon as they were back at the palace. She seemed to absolutely adore being rude to the servants, mostly because she could. After an hour, however, she quieted down, seeming sullen, and even frightened. When her hair was finally combed out, she hurried to leave, hunting Zuko down and, irreverent of what he might have been attempting to do, plastered herself to his side. "Hi, Zuzu…"

Zuko looked up when he felt a presence next to him. He was surprised for a moment, but then that subsided and became concern. "Hi…" he greeted quietly, setting the reports he had been scanning through on his desk; he'd been shuffling through a pile of paperwork while Azula was in the spa. "Anything wrong?"

She cuddled up to him, clinging tightly and shivering with fright. "I-I…don't…know if I should tell you…it's stupid, and I feel stupid, and just…forget it…just…" She sighed, pressing her eyes shut to try to hold back tears. She felt like a small child all of a sudden, and she didn't like that feeling at all. "Spirits I haven't been this pathetic since I was knee high…."

His brow creased as his sister rambled. "You're not stupid or pathetic…" He hesitantly put his arms around her and gave a light squeeze. "You don't need to tell me, but I'll always be here to listen." He tried to remain as optimistic as possible so she would open up, he told himself. A somewhat concerned, yet reassuring smile played upon his lips.

She smiled weakly, holding onto him for comfort and support even still. "I-I wouldn't know where to begin. It's stupid. I just…" She sighed in frustration, hiding her face in his shoulder. "I'm seeing a lot of stuff today. I…can't get away from one of them. Are you _sure_ you haven't let dad out of prison?"

"Positive, " he said, one hand going to rest on the back of her neck. His thumb stroked gently over her smooth hair as his face twisted in thought. _She was hallucinating about their father…. _It was understandable, yet it frightened him a bit to know she was seeing him. "I don't think I'd ever let him out, honestly." He sighed and hung his head, trying to think of a way he could calm Azula.

She nodded and cuddled into him, just staying quiet for a few moments. Then she let out a whine, pressing her eyes shut. "No," she insisted, reaching up to put her hands over her ears. "I'm not going to. Be quiet…"

"Azu, " He sighed, concern clear in the quiet name. "Look at me." he said, calloused hands going to the sides of her face gently.

She put her hands over his, looking up at him with wary eyes. "I-it's not usually like this… I don't know why it's so bad today." She bit her lip, taking a few deep breaths before finally relaxing a bit. "I want the mirrors covered. All the hallways that use them for decoration… I want them taken down, Zuko, _please_…."

Zuko nodded and brushed his thumbs over Azula's cheeks. "They'll be down by the end of the day, I swear on it." he said quietly, one hand moving to rub in small circles on her back. "The mirrors will be gone, and father will be out of your mind."

"I don't think even taking away the mirrors will get rid of him," she said sadly, cuddling up to Zuko and relaxing under his touch. "He wants me to kill you… I keep saying I won't, he's getting angry but I won't give in," she insisted. "This is the first time I've had what I really wanted, even if I have other problems. I won't give it up."

The crease returned to his brow as he looked at Azula. _Their father was telling her to kill him?_ That was hard to think about for the young Fire Lord; at least his sister was strong enough to not give in. He was thankful for that. "I'm glad you finally have what you want, Azu, and that you're not going to give into whatever he tells you." he said, pulling her a bit closer and sighing.

"I wanted my brother. All these years…I've treated you so badly because I was angry. You didn't care about me, you didn't want me around…so I thought if I hurt you back it would make it better somehow. But now you understand…now you're acting like a brother…the rest of the world could burn down for all I care," she murmured, holding tightly to him.

Zuko hesitantly pressed a kiss to the top of her head, with a sigh. "I was stupid for not being considerate of you… You'll always be my sister, no matter what, and I've realized that." he murmured, holding her closer. "I'll always be here for you."

She stayed like that for several moments, but she soon leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. It was just an innocent, sisterly kiss, or at least, it had been intended as one. The way they related to each other at the moment was changing so wildly she could barely keep track of herself.

He was caught off guard by her actions, gold eyes widening for a moment, before he did the same in return. It was a surprise, yes, but calming as well to the young Lord's frazzled nerves.

She smiled, nuzzling into his good cheek, resting her head on his shoulder. "Shut up," she whispered, a smile still on her lips. "I don't need you any more. I have Zuko," she insisted, but she sounded calmer, not panicked by her visions but simply reminding them to be quiet. She reached up and put her hand on Zuko's cheek, still settled happily. "Sing to me?"

Blushing lightly, he thought. He'd never been asked to sing before, so he wasn't quite sure what to do. Sure, he'd heard Uncle sing a few times, but wasn't very knowledgeable on the topic. Making a face, he tried to recall the words to a song.

Moments later, the Four Seasons song Uncle had sang so many times before came to mind. Clearing his throat, he recited the lyrics to the best of his ability. He was sure his voice was horrible, but he tried.

She smiled despite his bad singing, just glad to have something to listen to besides her hallucinations. "I shouldn't distract you from your work so much. What are you working on?" she asked after he'd finished the song, trailing her hand down to rest idly on his shoulder.

Placing a hand over Azula's, he looked to the stack of ruffled papers and half-rolled scrolls. "I was just looking at reports, " he said, eyes raking over one of them distantly_. Something about a man getting arrested for theft_, how boring.

"You know," she mused thoughtfully. "You could always delegate it to someone. Make some servant feel important, and have less work for you to do…"

"I could do that, " he hummed, looking from the papers to Azula. "They could just set aside the occasional odd report for me." Nodding, he decided it was a good idea. He'd been on the same task for a few days, after neglecting the pages for so long.

"Of course… I could always help you with you work, too…" she offered, reaching up to trail a finger over his ear. "It might be fun to let me do the work for you…"

His brow creased. "Why would you want to do work? …you just got home." he murmured, gold hues flicking from his cluttered desk to Azula.

"So I can help you," she answered, nuzzling into him. "You work hard…you need an assistant."

He nodded slowly, resting his head on hers. "If you really want to, " he murmured.

"I want us to get along, helping you out will help that," she answered easily. That and it would let her keep an eye on the goings on of the Fire Nation without making him suspicious that she was up to something.

Hugging her to his chest, he let a smile pull at his lips. He wasn't too sure what to say, but the help would be gladly accepted, as long as she was alright with doing it.


End file.
